food and traveling

I went to NYC about a week or so ago and I found it hard to eat. Many places my mom took me made me sick and didn't have many dairy-free options. Also, I don't eat red meat and most seafood, so factor that in too. Basically I don't like meat that much, besides bacon and some ways of cooking chicken, and I can't eat dairy, so that significantly reduces the amount of things I can eat.

The whole trip I was hungry. When I got home, I went to my favorite diner and had french toast, hash browns, and eggs. It was so good. Hunger will drive you crazy.

Christmas was ok on the food front. I ate a good amount of ham and dressing. Ham biscuits are pretty much the greatest ever. I got a whole bag of Hershey's candy in my stocking, which is bad, because all their chocolates have milk in them. Even the dark. And I hate dark chocolate anyway.

I will be going to Mexico on a vacation in the near future and I am hoping that eating won't be took difficult there due to their obsession with cheese in so many foods.

The allergy I'm most irritated over for this trip though is my salt water and sweat allergy. No ocean, no swimming unless it's in a pool. No getting too hot. At least my friends are understanding. I just wish I could snorkel. Fish are totally gorgeous! Knowing me, I'll probably risk it once and will be like 'oh I'll be fine' and end up being a speckled spectacle.

Thanksgiving success

Thanksgiving was better food-wise than I expected. Everyone cooked with almond milk and best life butter.

I had:

• ham
• turkey
• scalloped potatoes made with manchego and pecorino cheese (both from sheep's milk)
• sweet potatoes
• dressing
• pound cake
  
• lemon chess pie
• chocolate cake (made by my mom's cook who made it dairy-free)

I had way too much left over and brought it in to work and had a second Thanksgiving for all my friends. Here are some pictures of the food. You can see my scalloped potatoes at the bottom right with the regular cheese kind on their left.

The pound cake (far left) was apparently a little difficult to make dairy-free. I think she had to make a second or third to get it to do right. We also had to cook the lemon chess pie (far right) longer than usual.

Dairy-free chocolate fondue

I meant to post this a while back but forgot so I should now! I made dairy-free fondue last month and it was great!

ingredients:

• Silk soy creamer
• Ghirardelli semi-sweet baking chocolate chips (chocolate without dairy!!)
• powdered sugar
• vanilla extract
• amaretto

First I put 1/2 cup of Silk creamer in the pot. I had a fondue pot so it heated up very quickly (don't let it burn!). Then add in the chocolate chips (I used a whole 12-oz bag, and it was enough for 6 people or so). Stir continuously. After the chocolate chips are melted, pour in a capful of vanilla extract. Then add in a few teaspoons of powdered sugar at a time to sweeten up the chocolate. Keep adding sugar to taste. Then mix in a little bit of amaretto, (slightly more than a splash) to add some flavor and also sweeten.

Get any dippers you like and go to town! I like to use bananas, rice krispy treats, and marshmallows.

Thanksgiving!

Here comes the event the dairy-free girl has been dreading all year!!!

My mom and I had a talk about what we would do. I told her the foods I wanted, and we talked about how to make them dairy-free. Mainly we have to make sure people use fake butter and almond milk instead of regular stuff. I am hopeful that this will be good!

I have been doing better at learning what I can and can't eat. Ranch is ok, because I don't eat a lot. Cheese is a huge NO regardless. Milk chocolate is ok in small amounts, as are cookies or donuts. Wonka has come out with some amazing amazing new candies recently....two of my favs (only one dairy-free, but I can't resist the other)
Fruit Marvels (I've only had the white grape, and it is amazing)

Scrumdiddlyumptious bar....SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!

That is all for now...I need to either get work done or go to sleep!! Grad school is wearing me out big time...

dear diary, I suck

I've been eating lots of milk chocolate and strawberry whoppers (malted MILK...didn't know that until today). So I've had a headache all day...ugh.

In good news I found that using two types of sheep cheese - one was manchego, like the closest sheep cheese could get to a mainstream cow milk cheese, and the other was an aged cheese similar to parmesan - I can make a version of scalloped potatoes that is rather good, so there is hope for thanksgiving. The cheese is just way more expensive (of course). Now I just have to make sure that this cheese is actually safe, and not what caused the headache, since I ate it the same days I was eating the chocolate and whoppers.

In bad news, my headache makes me not want to study for my midterm tomorrow!! UGH!

Here's hoping some chicken soup can help...

more failure with dairy!

Success: I went to Melting Pot again with some girlfriends for Ladies' Night and I was fine the next day, because I ate less cheese, and less of the chocolate (which was dark and not milk).

Fail: Last night at the bar, I had a Klondike bar (real ice cream). I blame the two people who came in really late. I was ready to leave; all I had left was trash and floors. Then this guy walks in who I've seen before, and a girl comes and joins him. He came in at 12:45 and we close at 1am. She came in at 12:50. They were in the service industry so they should have known better. And even if they'f gotten drinks and left in like 15 minutes I wouldn't have been but so upset. But they got their drinks and sat there until 1:25. I ended up doing my trash and floors in front of them around 1:10, and by 1:20 my manager had enticed me to go get a Klondike bar from the freezer. So I went and got one, and apparently that made them realize they needed to leave by the time my manager and I were both just sitting there eating ice cream and staring at them. I didn't eat all the ice cream, but I did eat a good amount of it. As a result, I slept in way late today with a bad headache, and I still have it a little even after taking some tylenol.

Fail the day before: My boyfriend wanted mashed potatoes and since I made them at his house they were with real milk and not my almond milk - which is amazing and I recommend to everyone (I get original unsweetened, for cooking, baking, and eating with cereal). So I ate about a 1/4 cup of milk in my portion of mashed potatoes...which apparently was too much because I had a headache all day yesterday. Granted, after all that's been going on recently (my money drama and his week-long kidney stone) I've certainly been rather stressed, and that probably contributed.

Lesson: don't eat things you know you shouldn't eat, and stress is not good for you.

melting pot last night

Last night I went to Melting Pot with my most favorite person, my boyfriend, since it was restaurant week and it was a great deal. I knew I'd be majorly cheating with the cheese course but I knew it'd be worth it to have an awesome night. We did have a great time...and then the cheese hangover!

After we left, I felt pretty crappy - tired and sluggish. After a while I felt better, and was ok for the rest of the night...but then this morning...UGH! I tried to wake up but felt to crappy to care. I didn't get up until the afternoon and still felt bad. I was fatigued, my head hurt, and I felt pretty achy. The ache was focused on my lower head and neck area.

After eating some dairy-free lunch and sitting around the house a bit, I feel better. Hopefully it gets out of my system in a day, and I won't feel it anymore. I have to say, this last 24 hours was a pretty direct cause-and-effect!

Interestingly enough, a couple weeks ago I had soft-serve ice cream and was fine. The more I explore this the more I think that cheese is the main culprit.

being dairy free

it's been a while since i posted! some crazy stuff was going on in my life, but now i'm doing better. i only am working one job (whoo!) which means getting the rest i need. i am eating mostly dairy-free, but i cheat in little amounts, like a bit of nacho cheese or a bit of ranch dressing. i don't get headaches like i used to, and i am feeling generally better.

i moved to a house with hardwood floors, and a newer HVAC system, and i think it's done a great deal of improvement for me. i'm allergic to my cats and dustmites, and i think the new house has done great for keeping these allergies under control, much better than the last house. the only thing is that the windows here don't open as well, and keeping the house aired out is essential...i guess i'll figure that one out.

eating out

I've been freaking out about eating out because I don't want to be that girl who can't find anything to eat when everyone gets together.

BUT now I've remembered that there is a shining light - ethnic food! Japanese, Chinese, Thai and such. I went to the Japanese steakhouse last night and it was awesome, I ate so much and wasn't worried!!

Also, no headaches this week!! :)

now time to sleep.

I did it

I ate the parmesan. I don't feel any better, but it was delicious.

What a crappy day.

spoke too soon

I woke up today (Tuesday) sick with a sore throat and cough. I'v felt bad all day and kind of out of it and shaky.

I'm currently craving parmesan cheese very bad right now, and I think I'm just going to go ahead and eat it. I hope it doesn't make me sick. All I know is I don't feel good physically anyway and I'm kind of depressed (not serious, something stupid) so oh well if I feel just a little worse??

long week!

I've been offline a while - I worked 70 hours this week (Sunday-Saturday). It was insane to say the least. I existed on this stew that I made last Sunday....

Sunday Stew
2 cans tomato soup
1 can Bush's beanscarrots chopped into small pieces
1/4 vidalia onion, chopped into small pieces
2 cups (uncooked) rice

cook the rice, and the onions and carrots, then combine all ingredients. Delicious and filling. I made way too much and ate it all week.


I also realized today that I have not been fainting like I used to since I've gone off dairy. I don't know if the two things are related, but it's good either way.

I've been eating pretty good. I eat an apple a day (on the weekdays).

I think this healthy thing really works well. Despite working myself to the bone, I've stayed physically well and not feeling terribly bad.

I need to sleep soon!

mystery

so the last 3 days: I had heartburn for no reason (like, even when I hadn't eaten anything recently and then when I had eaten 'safe' foods), then today had a headache on and off, and have had an upset stomach tonight. I haven't had any dairy. Why is my body mad at me?? :(

physical symptoms/improvements!

I've been pretty much dairy-free for at least 2 weeks now. Probably longer but the days have been flying by, I don't really know. The big question now is...did it work?

Well, they said that my blood tests showed a slight allergy to dairy and a large allergy to cats and dogs. I also know that I'm allergic to certain molds, dust mites, strawberries, NSAIDS (aspirin and anything like it), heat, sun, saltwater on my skin. Getting rid of the cats is out of the question, though I do hope to move to a less allergy-prone place (hardwood floors).

So, my symptoms.
-frequent headaches: tension, migraine, sinus.
-fatigue
-very sensitive skin - allergy to heat, sun, saltwater (Cholinergic Urticaria)
-asthma

Have these symptoms changed?
The answer is about 40%. My headaches have been significantly lessened, which is amazing. I used to have headaches about 4/7 days a week, so to be headache free for most of the last 2 weeks is prettttty awesome. The fatigue has lessened too - I hate mornings less now, and can work hard all day and not feel like I'm going to die (I actually have no days off!). The other two - skin and asthma - have not improved any. It really was the sun/heat allergy I wanted to solve the most, BUT, I have to be thankful for the fact that some good did come of all this trouble.

I'm really tired now since I've been up since 7:30....so night!

polenta!

Yesterday I went to Kroger before going home and I was hungry for something dinner-like. I shopped throughout the alternative foods section for a while and decided on getting some polenta (mushy stuff made out of corn...replacement for starch or grain sometimes). (I also got some more ZenSoy pudding, Newman-Os, apples, grapes, etc).

So after the grocery store, I made some polenta cakes. I call them cakes because I shaped them into such, but the stuff could have been just pushed around in the pan (like scrambled eggs) because it fell apart really easy. The polenta was pre-cooked so all you had to do was heat it up!

I used some of the polenta, a few strips of bacon, and the drunken goat cheese. I took all these things and just mixed them together well and formed them into cakes. I fried then in a pan with the fake butter I have, and I have to say it was pretty delicious. I probably could do it with just the bacon if I need to eliminate the goat cheese. I highly recommend polenta for those who miss grits, omlettes, or other mushy warm things that contain cheese or milk to make them delicious.

Note on goat cheese: if you remember, the goat cheese that made me sick last time was the 'rawer' goat cheese (wetter, more milk in it). The drunken goat cheesed is more aged, so it should be better for me and it was - no stomachache or headache.

It's interesting, I've been craving more healthy foods recently. Like, I always crave chocolate, but recently I've preferred Luna bars and been super craving apples and peanut butter. So I suppose that's good - wanting fruits and veggies.

Next post: an update on how I physically have been feeling.

the weekend

So once again, in a social situation my not eating dairy causes me irritation...

Last night a few of my girlfriends and I went to someone's house in the afternoon and then we were going to hang out and prepare for having people over later that night. So, we needed to eat something for dinner. The girls had made pizza and breadsticks, both of which had dairy in them. We went to the grocery store to get something anyway, so I had a chance to grab something to eat, but there isn't really a whole lot of food that's quick and dairy free. I got a potato salad, which didn't have any dairy ingredients listed. That still wasn't that much, and it certainly wasn't a whole dinner, so the next time we went to the store (yeah we went a few times) I got this bread from the bakery that was on sale. The bread was totally delicious.

I had enough food to not be hungry, but surely didn't eat well enough and I didn't have variety or really anything nutritious. Then I was super hungry all morning, even though I had my usual Luna bar for breakfast.

temptations!!

today at work we had a bunch of pizza for the students who were graduating, and it was like torture on ice to have to sit there and smell my FAVORITE pizza (Papa John's) for like seriously the entire day and not eat any. To top it off, someone brought in homemade chocolate chip cookies, which do have some dairy in them, and those I couldn't resist - yes, I cheated and ate two. But they were small and I didn't get sick luckily.

I really need to go to sleep because I have to be at work super early!! But it's hard to go to sleep early for me! I felt really busy today at work, and I will tomorrow too, now that I'm going to be full-time I have a lot more stuff to do!

Also looking forward to starting bartending this weekend!

Here's hoping I won't dairy cheat over the weekend!

cooking

tonight I made the old-school Japanese curry we've been making since high school. Look back to the post with the list of foods where I mentioned it before - it's onion, potatoes, carrots, curry, and rice.

I should have enough to eat for a week or more! Basically the reason why I cooked it was because I wanted something easy to eat at the massage school for lunch. It's completely dairy free, delicious, filling, and nutritious!

In other news I'm becoming obsessed with the Chocolate Newman-O's; I've eaten some at some point probably every day.

ice cream review and social hope

I have slightly more hope for being able to eat in social situations because last night when Crystal and I went out I had an almost completely dairy-free meal! We went to Friday's and I got pork dumpling pot stickers, chicken fingers and fries, and a peanut butter pie (surely had a small amount of dairy) and a pineappley drink. It was great!!

Tonight I was in an ice cream mood, and since the "So Delicious" Chocolate I got was less than great, I got some more at Kroger tonight. So...

Good Karma Organic Rice Divine in Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge
B+
The actual ice cream here is good, a good mix of chocolate and peanut butter flavor. The pieces in it though (peanut butter chunks? chocolate chunks?) are kind of odd, but not terrible. I like it better than the "So Delicious."

Purely Decadent (made with Coconut Milk) in Mint Chip
A-
This stuff is pretty good. Smooth and minty, no weird aftertaste like the "So Delicious," and seems the truest to its 'original' counterpart (the same flavor in normal ice cream. You can faintly taste the coconut milk, but I like coconut milk pretty well so I don't even realize, really. The only think I would like is more chocolate pieces in it - it does have some in there but not much and it doesn't have a strong chocolate component to it - it's really mint ice cream with chocolate shavings. Still, pretty good.

Still haven't found anything to even come close to the good old Blue Bell chocolate ice cream at work......

getting freaked

Now that the food that my mom brought me from her personal chef is running out, I'm getting kind of freaked out about what I'm going to eat. I had some of her vegetable chili from dinner, and then an apple with peanut butter.

I also am going to be working full-time during the week now, so I'll need to figure out some things to pack for lunch and really just be thinking ahead of time. Planning!!

I'm figuring that when I go out tomorrow to eat with my friend Crystal, I'm going to have to cheat because I don't think I'll be able to find things that are dairy-free in a restaurant.

It's frustrating, because when I don't have things I can eat I simply want to give up on trying to eat anything at all, and when I do that I end up literally starving my body of energy and I'll feel bad and faint. I want to avoid that of course, I know I need to keep eating on a regular basis, and not having food that I can eat readily available challenges me in doing that.

Maybe sometime next week I'll make a big batch of my curry and rice, because I can eat on that for like a week.

For now I need to go to bed soon since church is in the morning.

setbacks

remember that awesome pasta dish I described from the other day, made with goat cheese? Well...apparently goat cheese doesn't work out for me because it made me sick.

Also, I've had a headache since about 6pm (around when I got an email about this letter from Kenneth Cuccinelli...which outraged me to the point of a tension headache that tylenol could not assauge).

I went to a birthday party tonight, first time really being social since going strictly dairy-free. I ended up eating 2 pieces of pizza, but scraped off the cheese. It wasn't good enough to scrape it off - now I feel sick-ish and the headache got increasingly bad as I was there and is still persisting, though the loud level of conversation there was probably more to blame for continuing the headache. I tried to enjoy myself, but with a headache that noise was making worse and not really being able to eat anything...it didn't work out as well as I would have wished.

This makes me really sad for the future and the possibilities of socializing. I feel like a leper, that girl who doesn't eat anything...ugh.

I feel like I have some odd disability and I'm going to become an outcast.

No one is ever going to want to date a freak like me.

At least I can sit at home and eat my Newman-Os and ZenSoy Pudding..........

allergy vs. intolerance

Just an FYI for everyone, a little extra info on the whole thing.
Allergy versus intolerance: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=george&dbid=66
I am allergic, not just lactose intolerant.

food reviews and goat cheese!!

So I went to Whole Foods today, finally!

I went in search of chocolate, because I've been really craving it and only have chocolate chip cookies and chocolate pudding. I found: Newman-O's (Chocolate cookies with chocolate creme), 365 brand Vegan Chocolate chips, and this little dark chocolate wafer candy bar that I didn't like much. I'm sad that they don't have any dairy-free chocolate that is like milk chocolate but without milk in it. Couldn't they do that theoretically with soy milk or coconut milk or something? I might try making a ganache this way sometime.

Then I went over to the place where all the cheese was and asked the girl behind the counter about goat cheese and going dairy-free. She said she actually didn't do dairy, and pointed out all the sheep and goat cheeses to me that I could try. I got a plain goat cheese (soft) that was on sale for $4.99 for a pretty good size package, manchego cheese (made from sheep's milk, hard - 6 months aged) and DRUNKEN GOAT CHEESE! (semi-hard, made with red wine). I was so excited about being able to eat cheese of some kind.

I had a great experience with the things I found and the people at the store, but as expected it was expensive-ish ($20 for these 6 items). But it was worth it. As I was driving out of Whole Foods' cramped parking lot, I was really hungry and decided to go for the Drunken Goat Cheese right then and there. It was so delicious. I felt like I was doing something wrong and sinful. It was savory and amazing. I'm so glad I picked it up. Here it is, complete with in-the-car bite-marks:

And now for some reviews...

Chocolate Newman-O's (bought at Whole Foods)

A+

The cookies were crispy, the creme filling creamy (not chalky at all!) and overall they were chocolatey and delicious. I ate 4 after lunch, and pretty quickly! I think they are better than regular oreos, and I highly recommend you try them. They were also on sale for 3 dollars, which is a better deal (about 32 cookies) than Pamela's Chocolate Chip Cookies, which were $3.49 for 9 cookies at Kroger. Even when not on sale, $4 or $4.5 would probably be a better deal, considering how many cookies you get. I'm happy with this purchase, and glad they aren't terribly expensive.

365 brand Vegan Chocolate Chips (Semi-Sweet 41% Cocoa) (bought at Whole Foods)

A+

These chocolate chips taste exactly the same as regular chocolate chips. I might like them a little better because I think they were a little less hard (although maybe that's because they were fresher than the regular chocolate chips I've had for a while). Whatever, they were good and I highly recommend. They were $3.39 regular price.

So now I have chocolate alternatives and a cheese replacement, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Also, for dinner tonight I experimented with my new cheeses. I make some piccolini pasta, and made a cheese sauce for it: I heated up some olive oil, added some garlic, Italian seasonings, a little bit of pepper and chili powder. After the garlic simmered a few minutes in the oil, I added in a bunch of the plain goat cheese. Stirred this a lot, and it made a nice, creamy sauce that I added to the pasta after draining. It was a little tangy, so I added some grated manchego cheese on top which definitely improved the flavor of the dish. So, that's my alternative alfredo sauce! Next time I might try this with some plain soft goat cheese and a larger amount of one of the other cheeses that I got.

After that, I ate some of the 'vegetable chili' that my mom's personal cook made, along with a slice of my favorite bread.

So glad I get to sleep in tomorrow!! In case anyone was wondering, my head hasn't been hurting any since I got this dairy-free thing down, and my stomach has been better-ish.

*this was posted at 1am, it says 2pm because that's when I started the draft*

soy cheese reviews

another day going strong!!!

Today I had a Luna bar (A+!) for breakfast, a wrap with turkey, guacamole, and bacon at CIP for lunch, and a pizza I made myself for dinner with marinara sauce, peppers and soy cheese. Just had one of my Pamela's chocolate chip cookies for dessert and about to eat a Zensoy chocolate pudding (YUM!)

A few days ago, I tried a...

Tofutti Pan Crust Pizza (bought at Rebecca's)

C-

This pizza was my first interaction with soy cheese, and I was sadly disappointed. The cheese didn't really taste like anything and was very watery all over the pizza. Like...when I cut it, the watery-ness just leaked onto the plate from the top. The crust left a lot to be desired too - it wasn't "pan" and it was not crispy and not delicious. The sauce was blah.

The tastier, cheaper alternative to this is to make your own pizza!!

I used Mama Mary's Pizza Crusts (bought at Kroger), Harris Teeter brand marinara sauce (super cheap and super delicious), an orange pepper chopped up on top, and then tried some soy cheese (which I most likely won't use again) - Tofutti American Slices (B-). The pizza crust was very tasty, had a good amount of bulk to it and a great crisp. The peppers were good, but the cheese was once again pretty tasteless, watery, and not really worth it. So... in the future, I'll make pizza with the crust, sauce, and peppers (or some other toppings that aren't fake cheese!)

In other news, I have been loving my Oscar Mayer Fully Cooked Bacon. Buy it, microwave it, and bam! delicious!

and in other other news, the doc that called me, and all the other docs in the allergy clinic, went away to some conference until Tuesday or Wednesday this week...so nice of that lady to leave me a worrisome message and then skip town for a week. Here's hoping there's an answer tomorrow.

going strong

After the Thursday of Cheating, I have been doing very well with this. I did have a little bit of ranch Friday afternoon with my wings, but a very small amount. Other than that I have been completely dairy-free Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That's the best I've done so far. I've been eating chicken sandwiches with BBQ at CIP, and all kinds of food that my mom bought/brought for me at home.

Been working a lot lately, and the trend continues.

cheater cheater cheese eater

I'm cheating like nobody's business today.

I've been doing well for the last 2 days, but tonight is girl's night out with Crystal so I planned to cheat tonight anyway. Melting Pot!! It's going to be super delicious and super bad!

Not only was I planning on cheating today anyway, but it was Michael's birthday at the Massage School, and there was cake, and I mean, I love birthdays....so I had cake.

I think my stomach is unhappy with me already...oh well.

I guess I'll have to make my own birthday cake this year...

midnight snack

best midnight snack? gatorade and bacon!! thank god for bacon

more reviews, Rebecca's Natural Foods

My mom came by work with me when I went in, and then stopped by Rebecca's Natural Foods before she left town to get me some more stuff! I have like way too much food right now. Well I mean you can't have too much food I guess, I just hope none of it goes bad because I forget about it.

She said the man at Rebecca's was really nice and helpful. She got me some coconut milk that was in the refridgerated section, some dairy-free mac and cheese mix, dairy-free cheese, spinach pie, and dairy-free frozen pizzas.

So Delicious Coconut Milk, vanilla flavor (bought at Rebecca's)
A
This milk alternative is by far my favorite. I like the sweet flavor, and the very white color. (the dark color of soymilk and almond milk kind of freak me out/are unappetizing to look at). I expected is that it would be a little creamier, but I suppose the lightness of the milk is good for all-purpose use. I think I'm going to stick with this milk! My question now is, how long does it last - how do you know it's gone bad?

For dinner, I just had a...

Millet and Flax Spinach Pie made by Sami's Bakery (bought at Rebecca's)
A
I don't think I've ever had spinach without cheese, so I was worried, but it wasn't bad! In fact it was pretty good! The "bread" on the outside was tasty and soft. The spinach was tangy and tasty. I was thorougly happy with it and I would definitely eat it regularly. It reminds me of greek cooking. It's dairy-free and gluten-free. It was really easy - just pop it in the toaster oven to heat up. The only thing I don't know is how much it cost.

Then for dessert...

ZenSoy Chocolate Soy Pudding (bought at Kroger, at Barracks)
A+
This pudding is pretty much indestinguishable from regular chocolate pudding. Dairy-free and gluten-free. Bravo.

Voicemail

I got a voicemail from a doctor at the allergy clinic today, saying she had some questions for me since she looked at my bloodwork. Like that doesn't sound worrisome... She also seems to be gone for the day because I've called back twice, so I just have to wait until tomorrow to see what it is...ugh!

In other news, Luna bars rock!

Mom, new foods, reviews

My mom came in town tonight and we went shopping after I got out of choir tonight. We went to Target and Kroger. I have a lot more hope now that my mom bought me lots of food.

At Target, we got some more vitamins and calcium, which is good because I love them (I get Disney gummy vitamins and gummy calcium chews)

I also got a few packs of Luna bars, which I had completely forgotten about until Nancy mentioned them a few days ago. I highly reccomend them - they are vegan, good for you, pretty good-tasting, and filling.

Then at Kroger we went wild. I got coconut milk, grapes, almond butter, dairy-free dressing for my carrots (sweet vidalia onion, to be exact - I haven't tried it yet), bacon, maple syrup for cooking stuff, honey, pasta, pizza crusts, a pepper, dairy-free ice cream (specifically organic So Delicious in chocolate velvet), bagels, and dairy-free chocolate chip cookies (Pamela's Chunky Chocolate Chip).

Reviews of the dairy-free products:

So Delicious in chocolate velvet B+

This ice cream was creamy and had the consistency and feel of ice cream down. The taste was interesting - when I first started eating it I wasn't that into it, I felt the chocolate wasn't sweet enough and there was a strange accompanying taste (probably that of the soymilk or ricemilk in it). But, as I ate it, I got used to it and liked it more. For dairy-free, they did a pretty good job. It's certainly something that I could get used to, and is definitely chocolatey and pretty smooth.

Pamela's Chunky Chocolate Chip Gourmet All Natural Cookies A

These cookies really impressed me. They were soft but not too soft, sweet enough but the cookie material was still good and crumbly-like, and the chocolate was about as good as dairy-free chocolate can get, I would imagine. There were also a great amount of chocolate chunks in the cookies - the ratio of chocolate to cookie was very good! (unlike many cookies that don't have enough chocolate in relation to cookie). Not only are they dairy-free, but they're wheat and gluten-free too. They were a little expensive - $3.69 or something like that for 9 cookies, but it's totally worth it in my book because the cookies are very good quality and you really only need to eat one (that's all I ate).

Also, my mom brought me some of the food that her personal chef made, including half a dozen chicken burgers, which were pretty delicious, and some vegan lasagna and vegetable chili. The vegetable chili was ok - I'm not a fan of corn in soups or of a lot of spices, but the squash and whatever else was in there (not going to lie I really have no idea what else was in it) made it good for me. I ate it with some bread, which helped with the spice. It was nice, and certainly good for me and filling, but I couldn't have a lot at a time due to the spiciness. I'm looking forward to eating the lasagna soon.

Need to go to bed soon, my mom hates it when I stay up late and she's here.

Things I can fix

I'm going to try working on a list of foods I can prepare that won't include dairy, to lift my spirits and maybe be able to go back to sleep.

Stuff that I can cook at home (and will eat)

(Yeah, I know it's limited, but I'll work on it in time....)

1. Japanese Curry (curry, carrots, potatoes, rice, chicken optional)
2. BBQ chicken
3. mashed potatoes with fake butter and soymilk (wonder how it'll taste though)
4. pasta with marinara
5. chicken with breadcrumbs
6. pork chops in the crock pot with rice
7. quinoa with squash (note: can't wait until farmer's market!!)
8. homemade pizza without cheese, add veggies if wanted
9. sweet potatoes with brown sugar/salt/sugar

more lunchy/snacky things

1. peanut butter sandwiches
2. hummus sandwiches (add cucumber slices)
3. peanuts as snacks
4. carrots as snacks ....but with what dressing now that I can't do ranch?
5. salad....what dressing??

Today at CIP I had a salad with balsamic vinaigrette, which I think is our only dairy-free dressing, besides citrus vinaigrette (which I had a reaction to once). I like it alright, but it's still not so great. I had a really hard time figuring out what to eat. I guess I could get any of my favs without the sauces and cheese but that kind of takes away the good stuff. Like, my fav the chicken wrap: I'd have to take out the cheese, aioli (I think??), and that leaves chicken, lettuce, salsa. ugh.

looks like BBQ is going to be my new favorite sauce (not that it wasn't anyway)

Stuff I can/will eat at CIP

1. fish and chips
2. st barts chicken
3. chicken sandwich without cheese (bacon is on there! bacon will be a new flavor-friend)
4. salad with balsamic
5. chicken wings
6. popcorn shrimp
7. fries, sweet potato chips, rice, broccoli, green beans

The thing about CIP that sucks though is that the cooks hate to modify anything on the menu, so the more you ask them to do (like, make me a wrap with chicken, bbq sauce, and rice, or a sandwich with chicken, avacado, and bacon....good ideas i just came up with!) they'd be like WTF I'm not doing this! So i'm really worried that I'm going to run into that, and that basically I'm going to starve at work.

I need to go back to sleep.

this is hard

this just in: this shit is hard.

I've cheated on it like every day. While I have successfully avoided cheese, I have still had sauces with dairy in them. I haven't felt 100% since I started this insanity last Thursday...I feel like it's been a really really long and arduous 5 days.

On top of all this stuff, I have to get my Curry application in in a week, which is also super stressful. And a whole bunch of other things are stressing me out right now.

positives: talked to a friend tonight who I don't get to talk to enough, and although I'm awake at this ungodly hour due to a sleep schedule screw-up, there was a fun tv show on animal planet about little people who rescue pit bulls.

I need a vacation....a vacation with no computers, no school, no jobs, and a bunch of cheese....

I cheated

I had pasta with alfredo sauce tonight. I mean, I had the sauce and I needed to do something with it. And I was so empty inside :( So I've felt better tonight after filling up on that.

What am I going to do with all the cheese in the fridge?!? I have a feeling I'm going to give in and just eat all of it before I go dairy free....

Sometime this week I plan on going to Whole Foods to pick up some....
goat cheese
nutritional yeast
tahini

and try making this recipe for vegan shells and cheese later this week.

I can't wait until the farmer's market starts again so I can get flavored goat cheese from the goat cheese guy, and better produce.

stomach??

My stomach has been more upset since I mostly gave up on the dairy. I didn't feel bad after the ravioli today, but after my chicken tenders at CIP after work I'm not feeling so great. Course, I hadn't eaten in like 11 hours.

I think part of the problem is that I'm eating more meat. I didn't eat meat but maybe 2, 3 times a week before and I've eaten it every day (and more of it) since I tried to do this. I remember when I was coming back to meat after being a vegetarian for a year, I would get incredibly sick after eating meat. Sounds like I should just go vegan doesn't it? God that would be so difficult.

I just want to stop feeling like crap. I was loopy and stupid today. Ever since I passed out, it's like I've only been about 70% here, mentally and physically.

Giving in

So I knew that it was going to take me a few weeks to completely go dairy-free, but I had been trying to go cold turkey. Today I gave in to Annie's cheesy ravioli. I needed something filling and delicious and I mean, I do need to finish off all the food I already bought.

I've actually been feeling kind of crappy since I went off the dairy (ironic) so I'm hoping this will raise my spirits.

I hate that I have to do this. I hate this.

food replacements

Last night, after a bunch of obsessing about this, I went to the grocery store to check out some products to buy to replace things that I eat now, and see what was out there. I went to Giant, which didn't really impress me that much (Everyone keeps telling me I'm going to have to go to Whole Foods). What I learned is that some of my new weapons in my food arsenal are not going to be as good as the old ones...

I needed something to replace cheese as a snack, so I got peanuts, which will still be a source of protein and fat. I like them, so that's good, but they're messy (I got them still in the shell).

I needed to replace cheese sandwiches as my quick go-to meal, so I got garlic hummus to make sandwiches with cucumber slices in the middle. Healthy right? While this was super delicious, it definitely hit a different hunger spot so I still crave cheese, but it did the best job it could. Luckily the delicious factor is pretty high, so I'll have no problem sticking with this. Problem is, I think this isn't as fatty/calorie-loaded as a cheese sandwich with marinara sauce (my usual) so when I went to my friend's house and had one drink later, it got me tipsy pretty quick.

Butter: I got "bestlife buttery spread" made with extra virgin olive oil. I made toast with it last night and I have to tell you I'm not a fan. It tastes nothing like butter, and I probably would have been better off with straight olive oil taste-wise. That's not saying it tasted bad - it just didn't taste like anything at all. I guess I'll use it in cooking or whatever, or if I make cinnamon toast that'll cover up the nothing-taste.

Lunch: I would have usually would have had something with cheese in it, a sandwich, ravioli, pizza, something like that. I had some rotisserie chicken instead with bbq sauce. While I wasn't hungry later, I was having the shakes later, which I haven't gotten in a while, which means I probably should have had something else with the chicken like bread or some kind of carb.

I really have to work on eating enough. See, I don't get hungry until it's like a really dire situation. I don't get hungry unless I miss a meal - I never get hungry for a meal. I don't know why this is. I tracked what I ate for a normal week once, and including my Mountain Dew and everything I usually ate, and it was only 1300-1500 calories a day, which is not enough. I should be eating 2200 the site said. So, I'm worried that with this new diet change I'll end up not eating enough calories.

I thought I'd been doing better at eating, but when I told all my friends tonight about the day I passed out, and I said I'd eaten a lot from the night before (including the friend who ate dinner WITH me the night before), they were like "YEAH, RIGHT" because apparently it was common knowledge to all of them that I didn't eat a lot...Kind of wish someone had told me that it concerned them and maybe then I would have made more of an effort to eat enough.

I'm going to go find something else to eat...

Please, leave me some specific suggestions for easy stuff to eat!

a new challenge

Hello everyone,
I've decide to blog about my struggles with going dairy-free. I can only hope that as I write for my own sanity, I can maybe help some others out there in the future who have to do the same thing.

While I do love animals and wish that I could say I was doing this simply not to play into factory farming anymore, that isn't the case. I wish I had that kind of willpower. In reality, I am in love with cheese, truly in love, and I don't know how we could ever break up regardless of cheese's faults.

Or so, that is, until the doctor told me I needed to.

Yesterday I went to get food allergy tests (we're thinking food allergy may be the cause of the symptoms I have, including migraines), and reacted to dairy in the tests. I was prepared for another reaction, like corn or gluten. I was thinking how I could get gluten-free stuff with my friend Emily (who needs gluten-free), or maybe even quit Mountain Dew if it were a corn allergy (Mt Dew has corn syrup in it. I've been drinking it my entire life, since I was a baby). But no, not kicking my caffeine habit for me, it's my other life-long affair with cheese that I have to battle.

I feel like I'm totally overreacting, but I really am mourning all of this. All I could think about yesterday would be the things that I love that I'd have to give up:

• milkshakes


• ice cream (especially our great ice cream at CIP, always a bonding type of food with other servers)


• cheese sandwiches (especially when I'm on the run and have nothing else)


• macaroni and cheese (which I have a strong sentimental tie to)


• scalloped potatoes (Thanksgiving and Christmas staple)


• ranch dressing (practically the only way I eat salad!! How can you be Southern and not eat RANCH!!)


• cheese fondue


• just eating straight cheese as a snack


• cheese in anything Italian


• fettucine alfredo


• toast with real butter


• milk chocolate!! kit kats, reeses, hershey's, twix, chocolate chip cookies, ugggghhh


• just about everything at my restaurant that I usually eat

that's enough...

(but seriously I don't know how to even cook without butter and cheese)

See, I know that a lot of these things can be replaced, even if not fully successfully, they can be replaced. But you have to buy them and fix them at home. The convenience and therefor social-nes of dairy is a real problem. I work at a restaurant four days a week, and that means that I'll significantly have to change what I eat when I'm there (two of those days, I have to eat there because I only have about ten minutes until I go to my next job). Then there's the going out factor - no more going out with friends for dessert, going to CIP for my birthday, sharing a milkshake, accepting cookies from friends, making desserts for others (which is something I love to do). Well, I suppose my sugar cookes are dairy-free, there is that!

The thing is I'm a pretty up-for-anything type of girl, ready to try new foods, new restaurants, hang out with a new crowd, and go with the flow as soon as someone invites me to go somwhere. If I really have to stay dairy-free, that will mean I cant just eat whatever, like I do now. It sucked enough that I couldn't eat strawberries in the last few years, but damn, now almost every dessert is out of range. Shit, that made me remember, cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory! crab wontons! ugh my food-soul is dying...

My only hope is that they're wrong. I saw the reaction on my skin, but I've been fine with eating dairy (and lots of it) forever. And the symptoms I have, I don't really see how they are related to what I eat. Right now is just going to be a trial period; I go a month without eating dairy and see what happens.

Other concerns...

Nutrition - cheese was a large source of my protein and calcium (which I don't get enough of as it is, I know) so I'm really going to have to think about what I eat. The doctor said it was possible that I could lose weight, which would be dangerous at my size, and especially since I passed out when they took my blood and couldn't get my blood pressure over 74/54 for about 10-15 minutes.

I know I'm obsessing, but this is overwhelming, so I'm going to obsess. I wish I had like a going-dairy-free partner, a supporter person like they have in AA.